


Loathe to Let You In.

by highinfibre



Category: Ghosts (TV 2019)
Genre: F/M, Relationship Study, Stream of Consciousness, i have no idea what this is but you're all very much welcome to it, one thousand words of oc-adjacent word vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 15:30:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20762648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/highinfibre/pseuds/highinfibre
Summary: All that Margot has achieved was gained by grasping her goals tightly and refusing to let go. She finds the most strength is needed to loosen her hold.





	Loathe to Let You In.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [It's About the Fun](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24609334) by [highinfibre](https://archiveofourown.org/users/highinfibre/pseuds/highinfibre). 

> Finally tossed my hat into the ring for creating Margot content. I took my time, considering i made up most of her character, but I'm nothing if not fashionably late.

Had you told Margot Dixon that she would become Margot Fawcett, willingly, she would have laughed. She wouldn’t have believed you for a moment, and you would have treasured it, for it would be the first  _ and _ last time she’d deign to give you the time of day. Marriage, and to Julian at that? She has much bigger plans. 

Marriage was a hindrance and a trap, for the girls who wanted nothing more than to devote themselves to a husband. For the chubby fists waving toy dolls in the air ‘til they grew tender enough to cradle beating life to their chests. Margot’s grip softened only to let that responsibility fall behind her. She was meant for bigger things, to be greater, and if she ever wanted to get anywhere in a career then little distractions were not an option. 

Getting her education had required strength. Getting into Cambridge had required more. When one was met with adversity at every step the only way to overcome it was to be smarter, tougher, the  _ best _ . Any misstep was another chip in your own foundations. Every tear another strike against your power, your position. So she had worked. Clawed her way to the very top of her game, graduating with a High First and both hands raised high, pushing hard against the glass. Top of her game, the first victory of many to come.

And he had been there through it all. Julian Fawcett; a first class fool, he’d be at every university party of any importance, but she’d catch him bent over books in her corner of the library when it was at its quietest. It was quieter, he’d explained to her questioning eyes, but she was certain he wanted to hide his academic side from the friends he insisted on keeping. A ridiculous performance, but he rarely bothered her and so she allowed it. But somewhere along the line, she had let herself relax. Maybe it was the ridiculous jokes he’d keep making under his breath. Perhaps it was the debates he’d willingly engage in when looking over each other’s essays; he managed to find faults in her logic more often than she would expect, and such a willing debate partner wasn’t something she’d pass up. They became friends, and close ones at that. A very unlikely pair. 

Yet it wasn’t to last. He attended her graduation, and the year after she returned the favour. But with the end of university came real life and a career. Advancing had always been Margot’s priority, so when they inevitably lost touch she expected it. Welcomed it, even. For if she was fondly reminiscing about their debates within the week, and having to suppress a chuckle at the memory of a joke during an important phone call? Well.

Stopping things where they were was for the best. So she boxed it all away, keeping it in the back of her mind under lock and key. And Margot Dixon did her best to not think of Julian Fawcett again; she had too much work to do. 

Unfortunately for her, fate is a funny thing. A simple business trip had the two cross paths once again, and it was as though no time had passed. A greeting became a conversation, dinner plans, and a bottle of wine or two over a shared dessert. They fell back into each other in senses figurative and literal, using each other as a crutch to climb the stairs back to their shared hotel. It had filled Margot much more than the meal ever could and, in her inebriated state, she  _ wanted _ . She yearned for that connection she’d allowed to fade, and she would do anything for the night not to end. 

The night they spent together had not been planned. It was far from her first fling, but the reality of his sleeping head buried into her neck when she awoke raised more questions than she was willing to try and answer. 

_ They had both been drunk _ ,  _ it mustn't happen again _ . 

A promise soon broken, for their parting that morning was much sweeter than she had planned. They were damned from the start, drawn back in as moth and flame. Chance meetings were soon planned, and looked forward to. One morning found them going out for breakfast together, and the ease in which they’d done so saw her ignore him for several months. Back to business she went, tightening her fist and casting it in iron. Her career had always taken pride of place, he knew that, and she couldn’t afford these petty distractions. 

She was also a fool for underestimating him.

Julian Fawcett, MP. Flippant, laid back, an utter bastard, and someone who knew her better than she’d ever given him credit for. They came together once more - their usual sort of meeting, nothing more - but he did not play in to her preconceived rules. He was softer than she expected or deserved, and tried to talk too much. His words were swiftly swallowed and silenced as she fought for a few more moments of delaying the inevitable.

She had buried the box, but he had found the key. Stammered confessions cast a new light on the nature of their relationship, and it blinded her. Unclenched her fists, softened her grip just enough that she might curl her hand around his. Experienced as they were, it was new to both of them - uncharted territory - and he admitted as much. Even in his uncertainty, he let her _ relax _ . 

From there it was easy, and remarkably little changed between them - perhaps they had been on this road from the start. A routine of kisses (not always shared) and one armed embraces; marriage had eventually made sense. 

When Margot Dixon was asked if she would take Julian Fawcett to be her lawfully wedded husband, she had laughed, and he had treasured it. She couldn’t believe it, but she had said yes. Marriage was for those who were content with settling and monotony- but they had better plans. 


End file.
